So I picked up a book, the Subtle art of not giving a F*ck. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard because any book before. I have that short attention span of a kid with a spoon in his mouth for the last 5 minutes as hes starting off looking at the branch scratching the kitchen window. Still though, it sure is one hell of a laugh.
I was able to talk to Raz… through the medium, we’ll go with her code name, hillary freitas. She’s pretty damn good, and she said somethings that even surprise me. It was nice to know that Raz could understand and feel that I swallowed by my regret of not being able to see her. But the reality of situation according to the Medium, was that if I had came and seen her. It would’ve been a lot harder for Raz to move on with her soul/spirit into the the next life/dimension. This was very interesting to me because she was still able to talk to Raz even though its been a year. I believe that frequency can follow on and be transmitted indefinitely . Much like our minds are linked to everything we are surrounded with, we are just unaware and unable to consciously understand or hear it.
This whole medium psychic thing has me on a trip of the century. A lot of things don’t add up, and when they do it always point to one thing.. something spiritual.
What makes things more confusing is that every story she ever told me started to make sense as we soon find out that her ex husband is lost in Lake Tahoe… he went kayaking, but despite having two kids that he alone has to take care of and a storm coming in, he still persisted to kayak out to meet his friends. His friends didn’t Kayak with him in better judgement. Later to find out that she remember there was an evil spirit that came to her in her dream when she had first moved into her house. She blessed the house and rid the spirit, however it caused the spirit to give her a night mare which made a lot of sense. This evil spirit has said , ” you Fuck with my family, now I’ll fuck with yours.” And this is when I realized… I am risking my life for this girl if I stick around and fall in love with her. No matter how godly her aura and energy is… my human mind cannot fully grasp the concept of unconditional love.
She cried to me that morning, and I didn’t know what to do. What would you do? When someone wakes you up crying telling you that the father to her son is missing. It started the day before that she told me, and the whole previous day she kept getting sick and a nauseous .. much like someone would if they had drowned or barely survived from swimming out of an undercurrent. I thought that it was just her cancer, or antibiotic that she had been taking- this was much worse.
I am now stuck in a dilemma.. do I help her, drive her to Tahoe, and be selfless.. or do I be selfish and enjoy my birthday, meet all my friends, and go on a couple dates with really interesting girls. As much I wanted to help, I become numb, and something had taken over me as it did in the past with her. I concluded that it was the spirit that is doing anything in its power to interfere with here capabilities of saving her family. This spirit was able to even get her ex to sell her car illegally, hide her parking tickets of for her extra car, and having her babysitter become a possessed obsessive human being over her son; in over jealousy, which caused her to park her extra car in an illegal parking spot so that it could get towed away. On top of that, causing her to pay multiple thousands of dollars in which she did not currently have. And this all happened within a month.
I was drawn to her by energy that I could not explain, and her aura of helplessness had poured all over me. I drank for my bday and it made me feel 1000x worse that I had not helped her. This day will haunt me forever.