BDSM Entitlement

Hah, you know what? It’s hilarious I’m writing this. I had a plan as soon as I woke up, I guess this is just one thing I’d like to look back on and see how much I’ve changed. 

The mind is such a powerful thing. What you believe to feel good can actually feel good. And what you dislike.. well you can probably get over those too with enough mind power. However, for once in a long time I felt like my sexual skills meant nothing. I have never done insane amounts of foreplay, squirting, countless orgasms (or it was all fake who knows), and last for 2 hrs with barely a moment of dryness just to be told… “it was okay” (insert lying disappointed look here). 

She is a polyamorist, two girlfriends and boyfriend whom all seem to be the same. The only difference.. they get her, they have their own fetishes. Me… I have a couple fetishes. Some are probably more on the interestingly weird side. One of them is braces, I love fucking braces… no idea why. That shit just gets me so fucking hard for no reason. If she had rainbow ones… yeah, like fuck me please. 

Anyways, all day we had this chemical connection, I don’t think she realizes how much chemistry was involved. She openly tells everyone in the room how she is a cam girl and used to be a stripper. We all see pictures of her body in HD, and you know what? It turned me on. Her strapped up and hanging from the air suspended in time and most likely space. I can’t imagine what it would feel like , but I know for damn sure… this girl loves pain. The end of the first day at the con we are like magnets…. I guess it’s because I’m a third gemini(gemini c) and she’s a Aries Pisces cusp… which in fact is ideal for marriage as long as there is understanding or communication. We were walking back to the room so that we can smoke it up… she was all about being fucked up out of her mind which is probably due to her abusive relationships and most likely childhood rape and abuse as well. I didn’t mind…. but I did mind the little 18 year old following us because he heard we were going to smoke. No offense kid, you’re cool as fuck, but you’d have higher chances if you didn’t act like a lost duckling. We had to get rid of this kid and fast… I looked at her, her glossy eyes, half bitten lip, and heavy breathing everytime I looked straight into her eyes. She was ready, and I asked her how we would get rid of this kid as we were standing in front of families by the elevator. She said, ” just toss me against the wall and make out with me.” I laughed so fucking hard, and came to… I was now even more down for this girl, I grabbed her neck forcefully and we had our first kiss… lip biting sucking, we made out for maybe 15 seconds only to realize the disgust on moms’ eyes. We looked at each other and laughed, we were drunk out of our minds. But hey! We got rid of that darn kid.

It wasn’t until later… we were finally alone in the bedroom that was supposed to house 6 people with two full sized mattresses. I imedaitely grabbed her. I knew she liked it rough, I did tantric sex on her. Her clit was sensitive, I guess overly sensitive… if I had it my way I’d torture her clit as she was tied up while she tries to avoid the safe word. I did the works… everything I had… hair pulling, neck biting, ear nibbling, nipple squeezing, hipbone pressuring, butt hole rubbing, ass slapping, clit rubbing, Gspot grinding, dirty talking, heavy breathing, scratching, and doing all that in combination trying to find her buttons. She seemed to enjoy it all, as she got us a noise complaint. However, the ending… was something. She seemed out of it but not out of it… not as much as I had hoped. All her screaming, scratching biting, and orgasms. They were a only a fraction of what she really wanted. I had no idea, we didn’t talk about this, we didn’t plan a safe word. I didn’t know… I would’ve made her bleed or keep her on the edge of bleeding, bruising, and skin broken. She wanted pain, and I failed to see it. It took me “it was okay” to realize my mistake. 

You see… I’m a pleaser, and she’s the submissive one. However, I never had a girl that wanted to be dominated in such a way. I had no idea what to do. If I could do it all over… I wanted to be her best or at least close to it. I did not study, learn, and repeatedly experiment to only be told she wasn’t satisfied. No fuck that. I want her barely able to move when we were done. I want everyone to see what I did to her. I want her to know, I’m not fucking around. 

I later learned though, you can’t win them all. And it takes defeat to fully understand something. Now I know, and I want more. I want to experience it. And we still have a chemical connection. I guess she’ll just have to wait and see , until next time when I run into her again. 

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