Heart is being stepped on my love – R.L

Hey dear,

I don’t feel too good today. I’ve had so much ups and downs, headaches, and heart aches. I need to let go of all feelings and emotional doubt. I wish you were here so I didn’t have to deal with it. I wish it was all just a bad dream. I need you so bad right now. Nicole is great shes an amazing friend. She gives me that emotional support. I am missing intimate support and physical support. Which I soon turned back to Vyvian. Years and years I come back to her every time to only feel betrayed and hurt. I wish it wasn’t this way. I wish I never came back to her. I need to stop expecting that people will take me back into their lives with no questions asked. What is this life. I want to run away. I want to just disappear. I hate it it must be the pills. I ran out of anxiety pills today, First day in 40 days I haven’t had welbutrin. I feel so anxious it’s really killing me. I wish I could be hugged. I wish.. I wish so many things. Taking zero actions upon anything or overly reacting to the smallest things. I want to be , I can be….  normal. I just need guidance, please Rasamis take me back into your arms even if its just angel arms, spirit arms. I need calamity, I want peace. Show me how, teach me  even if it’s just a little.

I love you,

Please have mercy on my heart please.

Here is a pic I took of Nicole… it was an amazing day, I just wish it was like this everyday.


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