met some guy on rocket league hes older but then we started talking and he told me some stories.
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: im just in a bad state of mind cause i slept 14 ish hrs and had a nightmare or dream about my gf .. woke up feeling like i cried all night.. was pretty bad. was about to marry the girl too. only girl ive ever wanted to marry.. ego free. selfless all the best qualities patient
T3KNiX: What happened with that? The state you in as far as, can you walk and function, just depressed or what?
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: im just depressed
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: extremely hard to get up everyday
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: feels like i just want to sleep all day
T3KNiX: Because of the breakup?
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: nah she passed away
T3KNiX: Well shit
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: chemotherapy killed her
T3KNiX: That’s a different story.
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: she was cancer free
T3KNiX: How long were you guys together?
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: year and some change but knew her for over 3
T3KNiX: That’s still a long time bro
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: yeah
T3KNiX: Met the parents and shit too?
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: yeah
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: the whole family
T3KNiX: Good man
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: her mom still calls me her son
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: which hurts
T3KNiX: Rightfully so. That would be fucking rough for sure.
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: cause her daughter isnt around
T3KNiX: If you guys were close, I can tell you one thing that may help
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: i blog almost everyday but military loves to throw a lot of medication for depressed patients
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: kind of messes me up
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: what is it?
T3KNiX: We had some close friends and my buddy had CF. He was going downhill, got a random call for a lung transplant, got that, went almost 2 years good and then it rejected. He passed away but they got married and were married for like a year and a half
T3KNiX: They truly love each other. Never seen a cuter couple together, no joke
T3KNiX: He wanted nothing more than for her to be happy in life, since you know…. We only get one to live.
T3KNiX: You’ll never forget, never stop loving
T3KNiX: But you deserve to make yourself happy
T3KNiX: She still writes in a blog about him once a month just saying how she feels
T3KNiX: That love and time will never go away. Never.
T3KNiX: But it’s not in your best interest to dwell. She’d probably be pissed at you for not living your life. You’re young as shit man
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: you got me crying
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: haha
T3KNiX: All good bro
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: i know i need to live my life and be happy and thats how it was when she first passed away but as time went by i find myself thinking of her more and more, even in my dreams
T3KNiX: I’m not a bitch, but I’m a bitch at times. I have 2 daughters and I’m a mamma’s boy. I have feelings. Not that anyone will ever see, but I actually do lol
T3KNiX: How is that a bad thing
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: it makes me sad
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: throughout the whole day
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: cause i miss having her around or someone to just be myself around you know
T3KNiX: At least you still get to see her in your dreams as opposed to never at all. Death is a part of life, That’s the one thing we all have in common and we only have so much control over that if any at all
T3KNiX: She was a big part of your life, and that will never go away. Ever. When you’re 60 you’ll still think of her the same way you are now, and the day after it happened.
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: true
T3KNiX: Are you going to throw your entire life away because you’re sad? If you were maybe 50+ I can see still not looking for happiness because you’ve enjoyed life, but at 26, its too young man.
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: youre so right
T3KNiX: Get out there, don’t feel bad about anything, date, just find someone who makes you just as happy. She’s out there and the one in heaven will smile that you’re happy and not depressed if you guys were really that close. I promise.
T3KNiX: Now lets fuck up some 2s bruh!
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: thanks man
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: i appreciate the talk
T3KNiX: Anytime man. I hope it helped and if it did I hope you remember it.
T3KNiX: If you ever need to talk and I’m free, I’m down.
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: Its already in blog so i can look at it when ever i feel down again
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: in my *
T3KNiX: I just had my father in law who I was way close to pass away last year. Shits been rough, but he wouldn’t want me to sulk, he’d want me to handle my shit and take care of business
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: damn..
T3KNiX: We’re the ones who found him too
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: that is horrible
T3KNiX: Dropping the girls off at daycare and got a call from the mother in law. I was going 90 in a 25 over there.
T3KNiX: He was cold, nothing we could do. First person close to me I’ve lost luckily
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: wow
T3KNiX: Making me cry now, doucher
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: the older they are the easier it is to recover
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: but when theyre so young its so hard
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: so much life just dissapearing instantly
T3KNiX: It happens. That’s why you can’t spend it being depressed. Try your best to make yourself happy with the things you like to do. Whatever consumes your mind, consumes your life
T3KNiX: You can choose what consumes your mind.
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: im glad youre doing good now
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: i hope that i can get better soon
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: yeah youre right.. the more negative i feel or think , the more negatives things happen in my life
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: brb ima grab oj then come back gimme 3 minutes
T3KNiX: Think about him every day. The hurt is still there but if you let that consume you, that’s how you’re gonna feel.
T3KNiX: Sure. I might go have a smoke.
T3KNiX: It’s gotta be worse for my wife but she has the same mentality
T3KNiX: well I know it’s worse for her, and my oldest.
T3KNiX: Just nothing we can do to change it, but if you get your mind set on that, you’re basically frozen in time and you’ll be stuck there forever while everythign else passes by you.
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: thats so true
Kiiro IG @ygkiiro: im ready whenever
He made me cry so much… then he started crying… Just wanted to put this on here because it meant a lot to me.