July 6th, 2016
Remember when we went to go chase waterfalls? I’m at the same mountain we went to 😦 every little thing reminds me of you here. I miss you so much
July 9th, 2016
I cried with my roommate next to me just now. We laid side by side so she couldn’t see my tears. I told her I miss you. I kept thinking about how I really feel. How I can appear to be so happy all the time. The truth is, my happiness radiates because of you, because I had you… And deep down inside I’m dying all the time without you. It is a really messed up balance. I miss you a lot and wish you never had to leave…
I’ve had a lot of improvement in life. Started a film team… We are named dogeteamsix , it’s a mix of comedy and seriousness. Just like the name of the team. I got to travel through time on my motorcycle with all the fireworks whizzing by. The air force would kill me if they found out I did that. I wish you could’ve rode on the back while I did that. You were always an adrenaline junkie. I can just see you getting bored when we film though. I’d put you in every film. Our next one will be comedy I guess, I need to work on my acting skills I guess.
July 10th, 2016
I had big orange today… I died a little bit inside, I was happy yet sad. I knew how much you loved eating here and you would dance while you ate it was really cute. So lately everyone has been playing Pokemon Go and its kind of taking over everyone’s life. Like Casey and I drove around for an hour just to catch pokemon at 3am in the morning. It was a little outrageous. Even my film team couldn’t concentrate , and were too busy playing it while i was trying to get them to shoot some scenes. Sometimes I don’t even know what we are doing filming, but it just seems right. My anxiety has been high today and I don’t know why either. I just can’t seem to sit still or calm down. I just want to jog outside with you and be simple sometimes. It’s hard now that you’re gone, and I can’t seem to find calmness within myself. Every little thing reminds me of you literally, and anything that happens I feel like it was meant to be due to some sort of superstition that you are somehow controlling some factors. Sometime’s they’re good, and sometimes they’re bad, but whatever leads me in the right direction I can appreciate.
We finish our last scenes of my first project. I’m kind of glad because we did it within two weeks, and I directed 90% of it. Andrew has been a lot of help and has really been proactive about it. He even loses sleep to help me finish somethings. I wouldn’t know what I would do without him. Usually people would film alone, but I guess help comes from out of the woodworks sometimes.
I haven’t been getting much done with my life though, and I’m still procrastinating as always. I wish I knew what I was doing with my life. My ocd just kicks in and I feel like I always have more important things to do.
Anyways I love you Rasamis, I still don’t even know if I should still call you my girlfriend… I still do though, but now that you’re gone people just call you my Ex… I don’t know I’m ready to let it be like that yet. I’m confused when I have to say my girlfriend that died every now and then…
Here is a couple pictures anyways.