Hey my razz me sassy,
Where do I start… It’s been a day and a half since I said goodbye. During those times I got to become a part of your family. It felt like the family I never had. I somehow had taken two important things with me that belonged to other people. I guess everyone wants their fair share of possessions from you also.
Your mom is the cutest I swear… When I’m around her I just feel so warm and welcomed.. Honestly I feel loved. She told me that she will still be my mommy. And it made me really happy. Honestly it feels really good to have someone who understands my pain in the way that she does.
That being said I feel there is a difference in the pain felt from the love we share. Your mom and I definately share the same love for you. The love that is unconditional, but means everything to us. Others express their love in a externally different way instead of a more intricate love. Most people will cry , and some won’t. Your mom and I feel it different. It’s a love strong enough to change a person. Although we may not want to change. We feel that it’s only right to imply the lessons learned from you. To learn the selflessness that was instilled in us.
I probably smiled more thinking of you during your funeral than anyone else, sometimes I even chuckled. It’s not always about being sad. You and I learned long ago that the things most precious in life bring happiness because it happened. These things should bring happiness even when it is lost because it’s better that we were able to experience it than not experience it all.
In other words I am happy to have been apart of your life. I am happy that I was able to laugh and love as much as I did. I’m happy that I was able to trust someone without feeling insecure. There were so many things that I was able to understand and feel with you that I could not with anyone else. That is definately something you cannot replicate. Nothing can replace you. And I can be happy that you were able to provide that for me.
– of course I’ll still be sad that you’re gone, but in reality… I feel like you’re always with me… Pushing my back with both your hands telling me to gooooo gooooo!!! Stop being a lazy butt.