Hey my rasmanian devil, or I should angel now.
I got a lot of unexpected hugs today. I decided that I was going to find my favorite photo of you and get you printed out. Then I’m going to find a super duper weather proof picture frame so that I can carry you around through waterfalls and stuff.
Speaking of waterfalls. I’m still sad we never got to see waterfalls.. I mean who goes waterfall chasing in the fall anyways right? They were dried up like raisins. Hmm I remember when you saw a little baby water drop off and said you found it!!!!! I don’t think I laughed that hard in a long time.
So, I guess you can say.. The first water fall I find you’re going to be with me in this picture frame. I think I’ll do a photo series with it. Maybe add some smoke bombs you know the crazy hype things kids do now a days. You can be the wonder lust Raz … It’ll get super famous , and I’ll post that I’m taking my cancer fighting champion around the world. Then one day I’ll promote it… It’ll be like a hype thing for all the wanderlust out there to take pictures of their nature or scenic areas but holding out your picture. If enough people do it it’ll be like you’re traveling everywhere every day, but around the world instead! The best thing about it is that it raises awareness for cancer!
You know I always had crazy ideas. You loved them all.. Haha. I miss you. I almost had a heart attack when I couldn’t find my photos of you. Your sister asked me to upload them all up for you. I think they’re going to have a giant mural of you with the wings. It’s funny though because everyone is posting that picture of you with wings. But they kept calling it dragon fly wings. Maybe it is a dragon fly, but I definately know we were in a butterfly park. Dragonfly is cool and all but I think you’d be way cuter if you were a pretty ass butterfly. Sometimes I can just see them as like angel wings… Angel butterfly haha.
Anyways, I’m flying to see you… I know as soon as I see your face at the ceremony I’m going to break down so freaking bad in front of all your family that I’ve yet to meet. I kind of scared, I feel like you’ll help me keep me from breaking down though. You always wanted to look strong in front of others.
I’ve only been to one funeral, but this one is by far the most stressful.. I’m thinking about suits, plane tickets, getting approved to come down there, car rentals, driving back, where to stay, if I should see my mom, and like I haven’t even got my suit tailored. Hell it ain’t even black. I know you’d want me to wear some bright ass color at your funeral too. I got that fuckcancer necklace you always wanted. It’s super duper gold baller status. I’m just sad I couldn’t give it to you. I think I would just wear it even though it’s kind of girly to remind me to not slack off.
I don’t want to get too crazy or sad, so I’ll go back to reality.